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Rule 1#: A big mouth makes an excellent target.
Rule 2#: Loyalty depends on the strength of the leash.
Rule 3#: In the absence of certainty, Kitty Kat is responsible.
Rule 4#: A vigorous scream daily preserves the complexion.
Rule 5#: A good tantrum takes a lot of practice.
Rule 6#: Never debate string theory with retired math professors.
Rule 7#: Civilization is about as civilized as it's going to get.
Rule 8#: A future pop idol must start somewhere.
Rule 9#: Avoid remedial classes for girls, which are hazardous.
Rule 10#: Even budding superstars require a solid background in spelling.
Rule 11#: Never stroll a public beach without phasors set to stun.
Rule 12#: Only male life skills develop faster from Stooge Fest videos.