Annie Oglypuss's Horrible Dream

Never never eat pickles and sardines before going to bed! Annie did, and look what happened. She fell into a deep sleep. Later that night she dreamed that she was kidnapped by aliens. They took her to their planet. They were going to keep her captive forever, along with all their other captures from the planet Earth. But something went wrong. They discovered that she was not a big name celebrity. You see, aliens don't collect autographs of celebrities, they collect the celebrities themselves. Then they replace the orginal back on Earth with a cheap alien copy. At first, Annie could understand everything the aliens said. That is because they talk to you with their minds. But when they learn that you are not famous, they don't care any more, and you can no longer understand them. Then they speak their native tongue. And it comes out like this! KAAAAAAAAAAA! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! KAAA! While there, she saw many famous Earth Celebrities who had been kidnapped and replaced on earth with counterfeits.

Annie was taken back to Earth and put back into her bed. They tried to erase her memory, and they did a very good job of it, as Annie could no longer remember what had happened. Nor could she remember the names of all the celebrities who have been replaced by substitutes from the planet Ka-ka! That is, she could not remember, all of them. But THEN A HORRIBLE DISCOVERY OCCURRED! Part of Annie's memory was restored the next morning when she got up and after breakfast, when she turned on the TV. There it was. The counterfeit celebrity. Not really from the Earth, but from another planet!

Never never never never eat sardines along with pickles before you go to bed, or you will be accidentally kidnapped by aliens and then they might decide to keep you. Of course, if you are not famous, they will throw you back like a useless minnow. But if you are famous, you will be gone, and in your place a strange-looking not-quite-perfect SUBSTITUTE! KAAAAAAAA! KAAAAAAAAAAAAA! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Rule 1#: A big mouth makes an excellent target.
Rule 2#: Loyalty depends on the strength of the leash.
Rule 3#: In the absence of certainty, Kitty Kat is responsible.
Rule 4#: A vigorous scream daily preserves the complexion.
Rule 5#: A good tantrum takes a lot of practice.
Rule 6#: Never debate string theory with retired math professors.
Rule 7#: Civilization is about as civilized as it's going to get.
Rule 8#: A future pop idol must start somewhere.
Rule 9#: Avoid remedial classes for girls, which are hazardous.
Rule 10#: Even budding superstars require a solid background in spelling.
Rule 11#: Never stroll a public beach without phasors set to stun.
Rule 12#: Only male life skills develop faster from Stooge Fest videos.

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